I spent the last year living in the past. Hoping for an absolution that will never ever fucking come. That's all I ever expected. Another fucking betrayal. You will always be the unfulfilled promise of my life. You will always manipulate me so that there isn't anyone in my life except
You. But you don't want me. You just want me as a back up plan when everything else fails. I've had enough of that for one lifetime. I'd rather be alone. I still have goals I still have things I need to fucking do. You're not completely part of that. A year ago I completed the part of me that I felt I had owed you, and you shit on it. I'm done. It's going to be locked away before I destroy it, because I know one day you will set me off to be that angry.
Everything I touch I destroy, why the hell should I have thought you would be any fucking different, in you're own own words you said I was a twisted fucking reflection of you, you were right in that poem, I am a reflection of who both of us are, damaged, broken and wounded. The difference is I'm still standing and I don't need anyone to validate my life, you do.
You don't want me to be that person. You just want me to be the possibility at the end of the road. I'm not ready to be that. I figure I got twenty good years left on this rock the way I have lived hard... I'm going to enjoy my life.
...with or without you.
It's time for me to be angry, it's time for me to be selfish, I've spent too many years of my life sacrificing and losing things because someone else was more important. I tried. I'm done trying. It's time to be about me... it's time to leave you where you belong....
...dead and gone.
I still have things I want to do in this life.
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