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48.




There was a reason I was trying to make this year special. But i guess it just wasn’t important to you. But you made my 24th one of the happiest memories in my life I wanted to do the same for you for 48, but I guess it wasn’t to be. You had more important things to do and as usual I’m just a fucking afterthought until you come back when you need or want me.


You’re my greatest failure and biggest victory, my worst enemy and my best friend. My greatest battle and my worst defeat. Of course it’s always going to be young and yang. Light and dark. Good and evil, between us. We can never know balance. One of us will always disappoint the other. Especially when we actually need each other. 


But I fucking tried. I’m still trying. I wanted this year to be different. But you continue to make you’re fucking choices. And that is you’re right and you’re decision. Just because I’ll always be here to land when you fall, it doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I just won’t be doing any epic things to try and get your attention for you’re birthday agian... I did try.


I will always try and you will always ignore it. That’s the value I have to you.


Happy birthday anyways. I love you. I know it’s not one sided not anymore. Just complicated.


I really wish you had came last night. That was meant to be you’re birthday gift. 


There is no anger or bitterness anymore. Just disappointed. I tried. I will keep trying till I trust you again. But one day I will be beside you to celebrate you’re birthday and to wake you up with a birthday kiss.


I’ll always be here. I do love you. Constantly.


Just guess it’ll take you more time.


Happy birthday.

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