Skip to main content

A Moment II




I may love you, but you aren’t my only priority right now in this life. And the come and go bullshit is something that I will never tolerate. I will just disappear no matter how much I love you and him. I made a vow to no longer fight with you. So there is no anger, there is no hate, there is just fade away.


You won our private battles. That moment is done. And the moment we need now, that’s on you when you are fucking ready. Not me. When and if you want me to come home you’ll make that phone call. Not before, and not for anything I’ve fucking done.


I’ll just be an emotional pretzel until that moment comes or I fade away forever. I’m not sure in this moment which one is preferable. I just know the outcome I fucking want.


The one I am silently fighting for.


I know my worth and I know I have a good life until I have you agian. Look at the whirlwind shit I am doing this week and I haven’t even gotten fucking started yet. I just wish you and my son were doing these things with me. I’ll always try. Until I can’t, but right now I can try.


My life doesn’t reach to you, and you’re decisions are you’re own. But one singular moment this weekend we might be on the same page. Let’s see what happens.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more