The fact that I am reminded this time of year of exactly why you came back into my life, and why for a moment, I was happy... has nothing to do with you. I wasn’t on the wine tour In you’re back yard with you.
It was probably to good to be true and it did burn bright and it burned out, but at one point that girl loved me for me and I loved being with her. There wasn’t drama. I am not looking back but I was enjoying my life then the same way I am now. I look back on those memories happily and I am sorry I ever hurt her. I cannot say the same about our memories.
I’m better off alone, I understand that. And if I ever chose to settle
Down, she would have been the much better choice. But neither of us was really ready. But just because I miss her it doesn’t
Mean I’d ever look back. I looked back only once for you, and it lead my life to ruin.
It’s still leading my life to ruin.
But that’s one of my strengths as well. I know I don’t need a woman in my life to be happy. I don’t need anyone I’ll be fine on my own.
At least when I’m on my own no one can blame me for there feeling being hurt, except maybe the
Delusional one who creates her own fantasies about who I should have been after she ripped all the bones from my back. Multiple
Times.
Guess what, I’m still me. I just evolved into my super saiyan form. And instead of talking about all the things I want to do... I’m fucking doing them. Im always doing them.
That started with Michelle. I found
My worth agian. It may be done but she loved me when no one else
Did. I will always have a special place in my heart for that.
But I don’t need anyone to validate me or drag me down to hell and make me question myself. I’m
Always going to end up burning out with any relationship so honestly
It’s more fun to be alone and do things my own way. As long as
I can for as much as I can.
I do for me and the people that have always had my back to
The best of my ability. I don’t look back on those that have fallen aside. There’s a reason I burn
Bridges and it’s not just because I have gasoline.
But I’m a phoenix you either burn with me in the fire or you become ashes and a memory.
I like my stories and memories. But I like the fire more. I know I wasted time chasing the wrong things and people. But you know what, I had adventures there too.
I don’t regret a single minute of my life. I had fun with every companion I have ever had.
If I deem you important enough to remeber take it as a compliment. There are many in my life that don’t even get that. I’ve forgotten more people and women in my life than I can count. Some deliberately and some because they weren’t worth remembering. The few that are. That’s because at one point they gave me a reason.
There’s a lot more people that have crossed my path in this life that Remeber me than I Remember them . I wonder why that is?
When I say I’m going to do something I do it, that’s always going to be the difference between us. I live my dreams. You simply wish for them like airplanes....
I stopped wishing for airplanes a long time ago. I do the things I dream about. Worry about the consequences after.
It’s been three years since you re entered my life and turned everything that was good in my life at that moment into shit. I may owe her an apology but I owe you nothing. And I’m just grateful for the freinds and the family along the way that have weathered the storm of my moods and my changes these past few years.
I am a constant. You aren’t.
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