Wizard of The Hood.

People and things change. This is a new adventure and I’m bound to make new freinds and enemies along the way. And old freinds and enemies are going to be jealous. That being said, do I look like I give a fuck? I have real world issues and concerns. This is something I’m doing for fun and to make things in this world a little easier for me. When the weight of the world is on your back, please come and cast the first stone…

But here’s one thing everyone needs to know. I don’t give a fuck. Beginning and end I do this to benefit me and only me. There is always a reason and always an agenda.

Period.

I don’t work for free and I don’t have the patience for false promises esp when I have things that are more important that playing dress up. It’s not about that. It’s about enjoying myself and doing things. And the person that I am tied at the hip with being able to do things….

Those I care about are just as important to me as myself. And screwing me for the things he enjoys is frustrating. I will stop doing for everyone period. He can’t do a lot of things. I’m depressed and angry as a result because this isn’t the first time he’s been fucked around on plans and money.

It will be the last time. I’m sick of doing for others and being taken advantage of. You don’t live behind the doors of my house and see how miserable it gets. If I’m reaching for escape what do you think my brother feels like trapped in a box?

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Return To The Abyss.

If anyone thinks they can take advantage of me and the people I care about, they are sadly mistaken. I walk away from people I love because of their bullshit. Someone who is merely there in my life? Yeah, I’m fucking out. I don’t need emotional vampires that suck me dry in my life. I will walk away from anything and everything at this point. I no longer give a damn about anything other than myself when it comes to your opinion. This decision and many others have been a long fucking time coming and to be honest I’m better off doing my own thing alone and solo. Because it’s better off for all involved. There’s still a temper and there is still the old me hidden underneath this attempt at seeking peace. I’m not a nice guy, I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy. And I’m not keeping my fucking mouth shut. No one fucking uses me, Period. And thats all I’ve felt I’ve been over the last few years. By a number of people in my professional life and my personal life. So maybe at this mom...

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