Wizard of The Hood.

People and things change. This is a new adventure and I’m bound to make new freinds and enemies along the way. And old freinds and enemies are going to be jealous. That being said, do I look like I give a fuck? I have real world issues and concerns. This is something I’m doing for fun and to make things in this world a little easier for me. When the weight of the world is on your back, please come and cast the first stone…

But here’s one thing everyone needs to know. I don’t give a fuck. Beginning and end I do this to benefit me and only me. There is always a reason and always an agenda.

Period.

I don’t work for free and I don’t have the patience for false promises esp when I have things that are more important that playing dress up. It’s not about that. It’s about enjoying myself and doing things. And the person that I am tied at the hip with being able to do things….

Those I care about are just as important to me as myself. And screwing me for the things he enjoys is frustrating. I will stop doing for everyone period. He can’t do a lot of things. I’m depressed and angry as a result because this isn’t the first time he’s been fucked around on plans and money.

It will be the last time. I’m sick of doing for others and being taken advantage of. You don’t live behind the doors of my house and see how miserable it gets. If I’m reaching for escape what do you think my brother feels like trapped in a box?

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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