The line has been drawn and the rules are clear. You have to come to me, I have no interest or energy left to come to you. You know the request needed. Otherwise all we do is spin our fucking heels pretending. I’m done pretending. We lost twenty years being angry. A lifetime. His lifetime. I’m done being angry.
I’m not done being stubborn. I can find a kind of peace without you. Im fine with that. I’ll be your devil for asking as you need to me to be. Everyone needs someone to blame even at that core of her humanity she may love me. Her actions speak otherwise. Mine do not. I live my life by the rules and ethics I always have. I may not always like you, sometimes I love you, sometimes I hate you, but I’ve always tried to respect you.
I’ve buried your secrets deep within because of that. I don’t want to destroy someone I love with all my heart. But I can destroy that part of my heart that does love you the way it does. It may be unconditional but it can end. It has before. It can again.
I’m sick of hurting because you choose tiny moments to come in and out of my life, and there is no real stability. Just because I have always been there doesn’t mean that I’m always going to be there. My life can change or end in a instant and you are giving me no reason at this point to stand still.
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