Skip to main content

Go To Hell.




I have lost twenty years of someone else's life because of you, i wasn't even important to be contacted to mourn. i don't feel anything, just the anger that has always been a part of me. But it shows at the End how little i was respected or thought of. Then agian you were excommunicated from my life in my teens, and I simply don't think of you. you are simply just another  person that doesn't exist to me. simply forgotten. 


i was busy having fun the day you died. That is a victory of sorts, and No fucks given.


Then again I am, and was everything you would never have been. I fought, I did things and I stood on my own two feet. i still do. Its gonna be a lot easier to walk thru my home downtown now. ill still bate it here because of you but i wont be looking over my shoulder anymore. i simply don't care. 


i have no regrets only the one that it wasn't my hand at you're throat when it should have been multiple times. I don't want to ever be you. i spent my life running away from here, from Hamilton, from everything that you are. That was always by design. I ran from and rejected everything that you are. because thats not who i am. i am something else.


i may be a monster but thats of my own creation. You don't even deserve the dignity of being remembered. therefor you won't be. its what you deserved. so be it.


i am sick of the world you created for all of us and the only reason i stay where i am is responsibility here. but there are days  like fucking today where it would be easy to day fuck it all and throw it all away and be somewhere else.


the only difference if i stay, if i go, if i even give a damn, there will be people to fucking mourn me. unlike you. 


good riddance. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.