Skip to main content

Kittie.


I will burn fucking bridges from beneath me if i feel like I am being used or turned on. trust me on that. i have no patience for pretty words or drama from people who are barely in my fucking orbit. i have forgotten those i actually loved more than once without a second fucking thought. i am under no illusions that i wouldn't walk away from you now. there is nothing keeping me tied to you except our adult child and a trauma bond. why that i think that would have ever been enough is beyond me. it isnt, it wasnt. it will never be.


I'm happy, I'm having fucking fun, and I'm not gonna let anyone ruin that for me at this stage of my life. ill just do me, if things change and you come around. I'll let you know if i'm fucking interested.


i can do darkness, i am rejecting people around me that are fake and plastic constantly. i don't need that in my life. i only need honesty and clarity. and sometimes if i don't see that i wont care. i'll go down into the rabbit hole and be the darkest motherfucker you have ever met. and i will not care, the time for caring is over. you want to play mind games? i taught you how to play them. I am the master of the mind game when it comes to you and I, its always going to mental chess. and i will never let you fucking win.


anyone that doubts me should look at the interesting things i do, and thats only the adventures i can speak to. theres a lot more that i do and i have done that i don't speak to. and there are reasons for that.


I don't have time for anyone and their bullshit right now. its just drama and its a repeating pattern with some loved ones and some friend's. the exit is that way i'll see myself out. i don't do drama, mine or yours.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...