Skip to main content

Kittie.


I will burn fucking bridges from beneath me if i feel like I am being used or turned on. trust me on that. i have no patience for pretty words or drama from people who are barely in my fucking orbit. i have forgotten those i actually loved more than once without a second fucking thought. i am under no illusions that i wouldn't walk away from you now. there is nothing keeping me tied to you except our adult child and a trauma bond. why that i think that would have ever been enough is beyond me. it isnt, it wasnt. it will never be.


I'm happy, I'm having fucking fun, and I'm not gonna let anyone ruin that for me at this stage of my life. ill just do me, if things change and you come around. I'll let you know if i'm fucking interested.


i can do darkness, i am rejecting people around me that are fake and plastic constantly. i don't need that in my life. i only need honesty and clarity. and sometimes if i don't see that i wont care. i'll go down into the rabbit hole and be the darkest motherfucker you have ever met. and i will not care, the time for caring is over. you want to play mind games? i taught you how to play them. I am the master of the mind game when it comes to you and I, its always going to mental chess. and i will never let you fucking win.


anyone that doubts me should look at the interesting things i do, and thats only the adventures i can speak to. theres a lot more that i do and i have done that i don't speak to. and there are reasons for that.


I don't have time for anyone and their bullshit right now. its just drama and its a repeating pattern with some loved ones and some friend's. the exit is that way i'll see myself out. i don't do drama, mine or yours.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more