A lot of people that aren't important are pissing me off, and given that i ghost people i actually love and care about over the years. these new plastic people that think they have anything fucking on me, they can go fuck themselves. you might not have known me back then, but i do have a reputation that precedes me.
I havent changed as much as i would like to in this world, and if you get on my bad side you will know it. not by words, not by actions, just by silence... because anything more than that... you should fucking fear. but i am not that man anymore, at least i'm trying not to be him. but I am still angry, and i am still poor and hungry on the wrong day, and you don't want to cross him on a bad day, because he's still a feral child inside, the lost abandoned person i was raised as, i just let the worst thing happen to me in this world, i attempted to allow myself to be civilized.
it didn't take, i'm still a threat internally and externally. I'm just trying to be a better person and bottle it all inside.
but make no mistake, especially on a bad day, i haven't changed all that much. i may be a warrior looking for peace now, i'm trying to find it....
but at the end of the day, I'm that self Same Asshole I've always been and i have no fucking fear showing that to anyone... new fake friends, old dumb friends I once cared about, you name it. if i feel you're useless or threatening to my life, you simply wont have existed in my life anymore. you will be forgotten.
Period.
I often don't have patience and need to take a step back from those i do care about. if it threatens my personal peace i have taken years to attain, i will fuck you off without a second thought. thats just me tho, it keeps me out of jail, because i know my anger and my lack of patience, the problem isn't ever going to be you, it's always going to be me.
I've spent my while life not caring if i was was loved or hated, at the end of the day it didn't matter as long as you respected me, and if you didn't you learned how to fear me, absolutely none of that has fuckin changed. Fear and respect are still better than being loved, and I still don't give a damn if anyone hates me... because if i hate you, you simply don't exist.
I will do this to people that have had my back and that i truly love or care about. i won't even fucking think about ghosting ancillary people that are barely in orbit in my world. you don't serve a purpose? you don't exist. plain and fucking simple.
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