I am at peace and it’s going to take one hell of a person to change that. There’s only one person I want in my life but I am aware she prefers as villain and devil over her saviour. I’m good with that. If there has to be a bad guy in the story let it be me.
Doesn’t mean the emotions aren’t still there. Even the devil has loved ones.
It’s not there yet, but it’s close. But im still not letting my guard down as history has proven that it just takes one mood swing and everything changes.
There was a moment once I cared about doing the right thing and being a good person. But now if you’d asked me if I would choose to be the angel or the demon in the equation, I’d choose demon without hesitation. Demons are honest. They wont hide behind lies of a pretty face.
The biggest issue other than Trusting you is the fact I have to decide 25 years on if i want you in my life after all the damage has been done.
I wake up every day wanting you to be my wife, and I go to sleep every night knowing why you aren’t. It’s gotten to a point where I’ve learned to live with it. But I don’t like it.
Id rather be the bad guy. That allows things to be status fucking quo for the time being. You can make me the villain. It’s the part I’m destined to play in every story anyways.
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