I am here. I am not going anywhere. I know my life and my responsibilities. I just need us to be able to figure things out. I am invisible bin your life but I am still here. Maybe it’s time for the family ghost to make more of an appearance in your life. Maybe that’s not longer a question.
We have enough reasons to not be together maybe it’s time to question the reasons why we aren’t together and why we should be. I can’t keep being on the outside looking in. I need a reason to be there and as it stands I do not have one to be there.
I can’t stay forever on the outside looking in. Something has to change. Time is running out. I am losing patience. I have been on the outside looking in in your orbit for 20 years because of your decisions. You and him simply being in my life isn’t good enough anymore. Not after two decades of us fighting. All or nothing works both ways.
It’s been twenty years since I made the decision to go to war. That’s completely on me. But you could have made the Decision to not have it happen. I’ve always been here in the background. That’s exactly where you want me in your life. Around, in orbit… but not too close. Sometimes that’s not good enough.
It’s never going to be good enough and I’m always going to be here. That’s not going to change. I just don’t know how comfortable I am with it. That’s the burden of being the family Ghost.
Maybe in twenty years you’ll be ready. Maybe in another two decades we will find each other again. I am haunted by your actions forcing my hands twenty years ago this day and how downward the spiral we ended up. But I had to do what was right. I’m trying to do what’s right now. But sometimes the road to that is so damn long…
I guess I’ll be here haunting your metaphorical doorstep and your dreams and memories until we fix this… if we fix this.
But that’s absolutely where you want me to be, in the back ground, in the shadows.
The Family Ghost.
Current Music: Tyr, Blood of heroes.
Current Mood: Remorseful.
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