Skip to main content

The In-Between.




Sometimes I am reminded that all we truly are is a simple set of goodbyes. I’m trying to be more but right now we are just in that place we always get to. The In between something and nothing. While I’m good either way, the heart wants more and will always long for it. That’s why I try. That’s why I’m trying now. 


I don’t know where we stand. And I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. For some reason you want to be in my life tho. I just cant stand you just being an accessory to it. 


I can’t pretend to be something we are not. And you need to figure out what’s best for you, me in your life or not. It’s been a lifetime of bad decisions for both of us. I’m not sure I want to continue in that same path. It’s just all bad road.


The key is getting away from it all I agree. 


The only problem is that we are at a crossroads and i don’t think either of know the next step. 


The only reality is that I want us both to be happy, and I think we are better off happier together. But that’s your decision, you don’t have to justify anything to me, and you know that I won’t to you. 


I just want to stop waiting on the next step. One way, one day, this will end. Lets hope it’s the desired result.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more