Halls Of Illusions.

I live in the real world. I don't live in the fairytale world where you think you can hurt and destroy people without consquences. Oh no, your not happy and not at peace because of your life and you choices. I'm not going to let you upset my life and my peace. I've tried hard enough and watched you destroy enough of my freindships and relationships. No more.

I can't live in your fucking world because it doesn't fucking exist... and you've probaly dragged my child down the rabbit hole with you. I have tried hard enough. I'm done.

I hope your illusions keep you warm at night and i hope they will be there to comfort you at the end because there is a very good fuckin chance that i won't be. You can only hurt a man so much with your bullshit. I will walk away and forget your fucking name. It's happened before. I have no fucking qualms about doing it agian.

I'm done fighting with you. I'm done entertaining these illusions on your life you take as your reality. Its a fucking ghost story, and my promise is just that. A promise to always be there. Promised to someone who is no longer here. Just because i will always answer the phone doesn't mean I'm going to spend my life waiting on a illusion.

Not this time. I am Done.

Current Music: Within Temptation, The Reckoning.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

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