Skip to main content

End of Days.


One's notorious lack of patinece with the world is flaring up agian, i am starting to wonder about my job and why i bother.. it's not like i have a little one at home that has a birthday and christmas coming up.. i mean why the hell does someone who was sick get to fucking steal my shifts? i give up my kid on the weekend to have that shift and a day beforehand someone fucking decides that he's going to take it instead? between that the politics, the fact that i feel some of the clients rights get infridged on and the whole bullshit nature of the job.. i mean i love being a CYW but i need some job security ive been there a year and ive been five minutes away for almost every call in shift... i havent taken more than one week off that whole time and there is absolutley no job secruity.. and worse it is affecting my son.. i don't give a fuck about the finacals but when it starts to affect my little boy i get concerenced and even worse when I coul;d have him this weekend but the pay isn't out until saturday thats even more fucktarded... i need to find something else and soon... i can't be eating kraft dinner and beans from the food bank 2 days before my pay every cheque this is getting ridilous.

Current mood: Frustrated.

Build my fear of what's out there
Cannot breathe the open air
Whisper things into my brain
Assuring me that I'm insane
They think our heads are in their hands
But violent use brings violent plans
Keep him tied, it makes him well
He's getting better, can't you tell?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more