Skip to main content

End of Days.


One's notorious lack of patinece with the world is flaring up agian, i am starting to wonder about my job and why i bother.. it's not like i have a little one at home that has a birthday and christmas coming up.. i mean why the hell does someone who was sick get to fucking steal my shifts? i give up my kid on the weekend to have that shift and a day beforehand someone fucking decides that he's going to take it instead? between that the politics, the fact that i feel some of the clients rights get infridged on and the whole bullshit nature of the job.. i mean i love being a CYW but i need some job security ive been there a year and ive been five minutes away for almost every call in shift... i havent taken more than one week off that whole time and there is absolutley no job secruity.. and worse it is affecting my son.. i don't give a fuck about the finacals but when it starts to affect my little boy i get concerenced and even worse when I coul;d have him this weekend but the pay isn't out until saturday thats even more fucktarded... i need to find something else and soon... i can't be eating kraft dinner and beans from the food bank 2 days before my pay every cheque this is getting ridilous.

Current mood: Frustrated.

Build my fear of what's out there
Cannot breathe the open air
Whisper things into my brain
Assuring me that I'm insane
They think our heads are in their hands
But violent use brings violent plans
Keep him tied, it makes him well
He's getting better, can't you tell?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...