I WANT TO DISAPPEAR

..... the bullshit continues.. at this point i don't care anymore.. if my son is going to suffer if i get another job i am thinking am going to give notice at my current job.. if you want me to work weekends and then when i have made fucking arrangements to be availible and given up the last 2 months of weekends with my son i think it's time for a carrer change... i'm am not waisting my talents, my time or my stress levels with this mickey mouse organization if this nonsense is going to continue.. i can't live on 13 fucking hours a paycheque.. i might as well not even be working... fucking clowns...i'm sick of the politics and nonsense anyways and i have other options...time to start exploring them, hopefully the Ymca or oznam house in toronto will be the next fucking option cuz my current employment is a joke and i'm seriously starting to feel that more harm than good is being done when it comes to the staff and money matters around it.... i'm sick of biting my lip and sacrifining my ethics too...

Current Mood: Frustrated
Yesterday man,
I was a nihilist and
Now today I'm
Just too fucking bored

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth. I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable. there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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