No More Mr.Nice Guy

where to start? maybe with the irony that it seems that the only person i currently seem to be getting along with in my life is she who shall not be named? it's been an interesting weekend.... there's the whole argument that nearly led to a fucking fist fight with my landlord last night the sooner i find a new fucking place to live the better. i am sick of the abuse and it nearly came to a head last night.... he doesn't know who he's fucking with? then there's all the other fun goodies from the weekend.... like an early morning phone call bitching about me doing something that would have very specifaccaly violates one of my clients rights.... there is getting to be a breaking point with work... i mean i am sick of the internal bullshit and am trying to rise above it but when i am being set up in the crosshairs time and time agian by the same two idiots i'm not happy... I am not happy about the way my clients are treated or the lack of respect given to them. about the only thing i can say i'm happy about the weekend is while i didn't get to take little man out trick or treating i did get to take someone i actually care about and hope to continue to help in making positive choices in his life out for trick or treating instead. that's all this job is supposed to be about not the nonsense and all the socio-political bullshit games people like to play....

Current Mood: Fed Up.
Current Music: Just Dance, Lady Gag Me.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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