Skip to main content

The Better Half of my Nature....

Once in a while someone comes around and reminds me why I should not be looking back on my friends and relationships in Windsor with rose colored glasses, I have to remind myself that sometimes people need to deal with their own bullshit and circumstances in life and allowing them to crash for a day or two or trying to give them helping hand is just enabling them, and worse it just enabling them to walk all over me... I have had enough of being walked on by she who should be named... but i am to the point in my life where there is a very fucking good reason i am a fucking asshole and it's probably better for me to be alone and miserable and enjoy the fact that i have solitude rather than have fairweather friends around who only come crawling around when they need a fucking handout due to their own decisions, I'm not the guy i was in Windsor, so fucking what, if that makes me a bigger asshole so be it.. I never planned in this life to be the nice guy... I have my own shit to deal with, I can't sit around taking care of others and dealing with their fucking headgames and nonsense, there is only time for one person and her mental chess game to be played.. i am honestly thinking about exiling a lot of people from my life, I know who my true friends are, and at this point the more i lose voluntarily the better... because some of these people are the worst kinds of friends.... but i'd rather have the people i can trust around me than the people i can trust to put a knife in my back when i'm not looking... sorry if that makes me an asshole.

Current Mood: Annoyed.
When you look at the dark side, careful you must be ... for the dark side looks back.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more