The Better Half of my Nature....

Once in a while someone comes around and reminds me why I should not be looking back on my friends and relationships in Windsor with rose colored glasses, I have to remind myself that sometimes people need to deal with their own bullshit and circumstances in life and allowing them to crash for a day or two or trying to give them helping hand is just enabling them, and worse it just enabling them to walk all over me... I have had enough of being walked on by she who should be named... but i am to the point in my life where there is a very fucking good reason i am a fucking asshole and it's probably better for me to be alone and miserable and enjoy the fact that i have solitude rather than have fairweather friends around who only come crawling around when they need a fucking handout due to their own decisions, I'm not the guy i was in Windsor, so fucking what, if that makes me a bigger asshole so be it.. I never planned in this life to be the nice guy... I have my own shit to deal with, I can't sit around taking care of others and dealing with their fucking headgames and nonsense, there is only time for one person and her mental chess game to be played.. i am honestly thinking about exiling a lot of people from my life, I know who my true friends are, and at this point the more i lose voluntarily the better... because some of these people are the worst kinds of friends.... but i'd rather have the people i can trust around me than the people i can trust to put a knife in my back when i'm not looking... sorry if that makes me an asshole.

Current Mood: Annoyed.
When you look at the dark side, careful you must be ... for the dark side looks back.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

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