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The Wait II.

I am sick of waiting for an answer for the next step in the never ending battle for my soul and my heart to continue, the sleeplessness and the vow of poverty that i never fucking took are starting to take their fucking tool, every day i get a little more angrier and little more depressed... this is all about waiting.... it's the speed of slow... at this point in my life i feel that I am living my life in reverse and seriously questioning decisions i have made in my life, would i have been happy if i had not abandoned Windsor and my life their and been a deadbeat dad? or would the rotting festering hole in my heart be even bigger than it is now... this is a question i can't answer as i do truly know the answer and I would never have changed anything had i been able to see the future... I miss my former life and i do not like the one i have now, but i am strong i am a fucking survivor and this like all the shitty things that have already happened will someday pass, it's just sad that the wait is taking so fucking long...

Current Mood: Depressed.
The pain is there to remind me that I'm still alive.

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