Skip to main content

Past Lives.....

I should not be sitting around afraid to engage someone that trusts me on my home turf because of someone else's mechanations, of course, this being my hometurf it's even more annoying to see former clients that i have to directly advoid because i don't feel like answering questions to them because i don't have any real answers, and even less that i can afford to share with them...I can hardly explain it to myself and other adults how the hell am i going to explain it to them, i seriously think the fucking clock is ticking on living in Hamilton. I am basiclly to the point where i feel that maybe i should move on, but i don't think that is going to happen in a hurry if for nothing else, there is still the fucking fact that i have a nice house and supportive people that i share the house with, i'm just sick of having to deal with all the rest of the extended fucking bullshit... I had a good job, there is no reason i should basicly surviving every day in fucking survival mode and i am not the one to blame for that....

Current Mood: Annoyed.
Trust some. Fear the rest.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild.  I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them.  It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done.  I am making choices for my future and its pret...
Post a Comment
Read more