Skip to main content

The Rage....

I Am feeling nostaligic and looking back as much as I am looking forward to things... I can remeber that there is always a purpose, there was one when when i was here... there is still one now... not everything has been taken away from me... while the last month has been dark for everyone around that month is over.. the time of mourning is through it's time to move forward... while i may do it with a heavier heart and with conflicting feelings, it still needs to be done... I'm not the One that took everything away... I have safe places to be, I have a history of being the person that I am, I haven't changed, Circumstances around me have.. and that's it... i come here and feel ten years younger... it's been 10 years since the year I had complete freedom and owed nothing to No one because I wasn't aware that i had responsibilties, as I sit on my street and wonder about things, i remeber you not I have always made the choices to do things.... 10 years ago I was free and had no responsibilities to you by your choice, Nine years ago you made a choice to involve me agian, and you should know my character, when it come's to family... I'm never ever going to fucking back down, espcially in regard to my children. i Can come back here in a minute and abandon everything but right now for a number of reasons that's not an option... that and the whole fact i have no intention of Failing... I'm Not afraid to fail, But I Don't know how to i never have known how... I'll Fight until there is no other option left. Always have.

Current Mood: Nostalgic.
I don't like to fail. I hate to fail. But I'm not afraid of it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more