Skip to main content

Dark Awakening

It is very clear this toy bullshit is Ending, and it's it is even more clear that i may be the one getting fucked over and getting the short end of the stick after losing quite a lot to the last year of this bullshit...I am fed up with it anyhow, it was at one point a neccasry evil but at this point decisions are being made to delibrately stab me in the back, and i don't like the icy feel of a cold knife behind me. this has never been the easiest experince for me and the rewards are no longer there, I am stick around for one more big pay day and then I am fucking done... i don't have the patience for a little egotistical man who only thinks about himself, I have enough of that type of personailty in my life without having to deal with one finacally for my livelyhood. it's not about the toys or the money anymore, it's about survival and pride and this fucking bullshit takes away from other things i could be doing... I am much happier hanging out in the summer sun trying to play guitar and find a few bucks than dealing with the wait on the stab in the back on this toy garbage. I have enough selfish people in my life I am forced to care about, I'm not about to care about someone who obviously doesn't care about and see's me only as a means to an end.. of course then agian, that's always been my attitude about this toy bullshit from the very beginning.

Current Mood: Annoyed.
Sometimes it is better to be known for one's enemies.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more