The War XIII: The End begins...

For today, in the name of freedom, we take the battle to her.
It's time to end this, there are some clear things on the road ahead and it's very clear that at this point in this game that things will end this summer one way or another, it's going to be very interesting at this point what the end game ends up being, but it is coming, there is no stopping it now, at least for now I am focused on the end game and for every ending i am prepared at the end of the day it is about one person, only one person, not me, not her, only him... i didn't create this war but i will see it thru to the end and the unevitable conclusion, for too long things have been stalled, today, the future that ends... it's about doing the right thing by him, and only that, it's not about anger anymore or hatred, only the part I was born to play, Being his father, nothing else... I made a phone call today that I was very afraid to make but it is time to get past my fears and past my hatred and past my anger... it's time to take the battle to her, it's time to end this. it's not about her delusions or her issues, it's not about whatever made up anger and hatred she has towards me, it's only about him. I wish she would realize that.

Current Mood: Determined.
One person's craziness is another person's reality.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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