I am not sure of the next step But I do Know that at this Point it's time for me to take the driver's seat and make things exactly to the letter How I want them to be, Sometimes I feel, esp right Now that Only I can see the final Goal, exactly what needs to be done and how, There have been nessacary evil's in my life and soon they will be a thing of the past, much as this last court battle that has spanned 9 of his eleven years... Reflecting back the other day on it i thought... I have been at war with you for most of his young life... is that the legacy we leave behind and teach our child....?? at least he will know from me, i never walked away and I never backed down not from you, Not from the System, not from the courts, Not from Anyone, No fear in these eyes, No fear in this heart. there's is only black and white now and what is right and what is wrong, I have no fear going forward, there is NO FATE BUT WHAT WE MAKE..... and i am quite certain at this point when thing are written in stone that there will be a paper trail and a sad pathetic person hiding behind one and a slightly broken person standing strong on the other, this war is ending, and one of us will lose... sadly it's not about which one of us has lost however as it has already affected the one person in both or lives who has from my perspective lost everything? and why? to get me to walk away? to get me to leave his life... you should know me well enough to know that is not something I would never do.. and destroying me to accomplish that? Only makes me stronger.. all my life I have been better at everything I do when my back's agianst the wall.. Give me something to fight and i will fight and win and never back down.... this is the biggest fight of my life and the only worthy one i have ever truly had, that is why i know the angel's are on my side... Exploit my demon's to use agianst me? Two can play that game...you are not the only one who knows how to rattle a few skeleton's, and you're demons are younger than mine... this shouldn't be about destroying you or showing you that you will lose, this should be about an ending and peace, regardless if I am in that little boys life, some answers need to be found and the reality is.. the closer to the day of final judgement comes... the less and less you are prepared, I know this, this is part of my game plan, I am setting you up to fail... it's a familar feeling for you.... the moves to check mate are coming...but it shouldn't be this way.. i shouldn't have to destroy you to make things right.. i am saddened by the fact that it has come to this... sadder still you chose to do it first.. but i don't shed a tear for you... only him. this is How the End Begins....
Current Mood: Determined.
I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
And I just walked away. Again and again, I walked away as her world fell down around her. As they destroyed her. We destroyed her.
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