The Chess Game III

Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way

I am not surprised by today's news, you are stalling and we are playing the waiting game.. it's unsurprising that you play this game and continue to play this fucking game.. your actions are constantly predictable... it's just unsettling to the dark areas that my mind goes thru, but when this is all has been set and done at this point it will have been six long fucking years, experiences that i can never have with my son, that's what you have taken away, i can't believe that you have such disrespect for the family court system you used to take him away from and destroy my relationship with that you didn't even bother the last two times.. it shows your true lack of respect for anything but yourself, I'm not surprised at all. i know that your agenda will always be to waste time and to lie to him until he is an adult, at this point i am prepared for that..I'm well of aware of the person you are... you're actions this morning are just another move in our endless chess game and they will continue as long as the war is fought, nothing you do surprises me anymore.. it's always going to be about you and not about him.... that's why i have to be the one who fights and doesn't walk away... but i don't mind waiting.. one way or another one day there will be a fucking ending... it's not me whose actions will be judged at the end.. it will be yours.

Current Mood: Angry

I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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