Skip to main content

The Chess Game III

Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way

I am not surprised by today's news, you are stalling and we are playing the waiting game.. it's unsurprising that you play this game and continue to play this fucking game.. your actions are constantly predictable... it's just unsettling to the dark areas that my mind goes thru, but when this is all has been set and done at this point it will have been six long fucking years, experiences that i can never have with my son, that's what you have taken away, i can't believe that you have such disrespect for the family court system you used to take him away from and destroy my relationship with that you didn't even bother the last two times.. it shows your true lack of respect for anything but yourself, I'm not surprised at all. i know that your agenda will always be to waste time and to lie to him until he is an adult, at this point i am prepared for that..I'm well of aware of the person you are... you're actions this morning are just another move in our endless chess game and they will continue as long as the war is fought, nothing you do surprises me anymore.. it's always going to be about you and not about him.... that's why i have to be the one who fights and doesn't walk away... but i don't mind waiting.. one way or another one day there will be a fucking ending... it's not me whose actions will be judged at the end.. it will be yours.

Current Mood: Angry

I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more