Skip to main content

War Demon

A warrior fears the battle he missed. More than any fight he can make his own, he fears the fight that’s gone, that ended without him, that no feat of arms can change.

I may have stopped fighting but there are still battles to fight and I'm still not going to back down from anyone if there is the right reasons. i spent the last decade fighting a losing battle that very nearly destroyed me and is probably never going to be fucking over, but if it comes down to it. I will fight for him every day of my life till my dying day. you don't fuck with the people I love, especially Him.. if i have to suit up and go back to war, i'm fine with that, i'm damaged fucking goods anyways, I'll gladly fall and die on my cross for the right reasons. but i hope that if this leads to anything it is the right reason.I'm sick of fighting but i haven't forgotten how to be a warrior, I've just laid down my sword. but If i have to the anger and rage is still there, i can use it. Right now I don't want to, but that can change very easily, all it take is the right spark. i'm done playing the chess game but i will protect my child if it comes down to that moment. I have plenty of other battles to fight some of which are even in my own head, but I will never abandon my role as a father even when i have been forced to. I am his dad that is something that will never fucking change. I'll always be here for Him.

I fight my battles because I have to, Not because I want to. I don't choose My fights but i don't fucking back down from them ever. If it comes down to protecting those that I love, i'll truck thru hell. I don't care about what happens to me anymore, it's not about me anymore. I planned for a blaze of fucking glory a long time ago.. but i leave one physical legacy on this world and that's him. He will know his father's true character, even if that's all i can fucking give him.

Current Mood: Confused.
Current Music: Cannibal Corpse, Remaimed

There will come a time in your life when you lose something that matters to you. You'll fight for it and you won't win. But what really matters isn't the war you're waging, it's that you don't lose the person you are in the midst of the battle.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more