Skip to main content

The Rules.

It's not the way either of us planned but you are my wife, and I worry about you when I think you're hurting. It's selfish pride and the fact I think I might make things worse that prevents me from reaching out even tho I want to. You asked me once why I don't fight for for you? I made a mistake but it's not my nature to complicate you're life and I don't know the right moment just to randomly speak to you. There always has to be a reason even tho you and my son are my reason for living and always will be.


I merely exist without you. There is nothing important in my life without you. I wait for you because that's what I'm used to and you are better for me than anyone else in this life. I don't mind waiting a bit longer but you need to decide what's best for you, and what makes u happiest, I think it's me. And I don't think you ever really discount that option, the problem is I changed the rules and it will be forever if it happens.


Current Music: The Man with the Plan, Korpiklaani


Current Mood: happy, sad, angry

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.