I am sick of being you’re emotional support animal, I’m going to live my life and have fun with my friends and family and stop trying to save something you took away almost 20 years ago for a second time. The first time you didn’t even give me a fucking choice. I’m not one to hold grudges but I also want the freedom To go and be elsewhere. I’ve always been the living emotional tie you need in you’re life without any of the fucking benefits.
We are too fucking old for mind games, we are too old to pretend like this is going to go anywhere but a dead end. You have always made that choice and you get fucking jealous of illusions. Once again I’m not even fucking allowed to have friends. That didn’t work out so well for us when we lived together, what makes you think trying to control my friend’s and my emotions and feelings towards Them is going to do for you now?
I won’t care. I don’t care. I’m not always going to be there as much as you want me to be. Because in you’re head I’ll never be what you want. This is the hell you created. And sadly you created it for all fucking three of us.
If you’re supposedly done, be done. Because I got sick of trying years ago when you ruined my last actual relationship. I thought you were more important and that I could save what was left of my family. The reality is I’ve chased a fucking pipe dream for years, and you’re jealous of the nothing that I have.
That’s me, I’ll make glitter out of garbage and always see the better parts of this life. I’m done living for anyone else’s wants or dreams, I thought once upon a time just being here might eventually fix you. But you’ll never open that door and I’m starting to not care enough to kick it open.
I thought there was a certain beauty in waiting but all it has done is postpone the inevitable. You want control and I’ll never willingly hand it over. That’s not how this works, that’s not how this will ever work.
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