Happy Ending Story.

All I ever wanted was one fucking moment. Just one. That’s all I ever asked you for. That’s all we ever needed. It isn’t just about the two of us. There are three of us. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll walk away forever. But we owe the child we never had any moments together with one fucking moment. That’s the only reason I keep trying.

One day you will wake up, one day you will grow up and realize all of that. And what you destroyed and what you have fucking lost. I just hope I’m still standing and not a corpse when that moment comes.

All I ever wanted was to give you beautiful moment. One you deserved. One just as much as for me as for him. Validation that you were the one woman in the world I loved the most. But you have to make it about you first. Everything is to your agenda and on your timeline. I’m sick of it.

He deserved his moment too. A moment you constantly deny for selfish fucking reasons. You talk a lot of pretty words but that’s all you fucking do. One day I will fade away and I will be gone. And he will ask you where all those moments went. You’ll have to lie to him because if he goes to my kin asking about all those happy moments not only will he have the paper, he will know that I tried. Every damn time. I always tried.

I just wanted to give us a happy ending story. But that meant I would have won the war. A war that ended six long fucking years ago. A war that ended by a third party interference if what you say is true.

I’m not sure today if that’s true.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth. I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable. there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...

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