I am sick and tired of the selfish people in my life. I have things to do and plans to occupy my time. One of these days I’m just going to walk away and pretend I don’t exist. That’s the way I’m constantly treated anyways unless someone wants fucking something for me. It’s ridiculous and I’m done with it. I’m better off all alone and on my own.
I never look back and I don’t even look fucking sideways when someone indicates that I’m only needed in their fucking life at their convenience. That’s not fair. That’s not how I lived my life. I was there for people. Now I’m not going to be there for anyone. I don’t care anymore.
I do interesting things. I don’t need money or people that don’t need to be there to hang on my nuts to pretend to be by my side. When there is an unequal balance of who does for who? Fuck it. I’ll withdraw. I’m sick of being being used and I’m sick of a lot of the people in my life who say they are gonna be there till the end and always have my back and when push comes to shove… there’s only one fucking broad that will have my back at the end.. and I don’t even want her there. But that’s my reality. Every thing in my life has proven that point.
I’m only useful when I’m needed and I’m an afterthought otherwise. Good. You’re forgotten. Period.
I have had enough people in my life destroy what I thought was important in my life multiple times. No more. If it’s going to be destroyed it’ll be my hand at the wheel.
I didn’t commit to spending the rest of my life in indentured servitude and having poverty as a life sentence. I shouldn’t be feeling this used and this angry. But it happens. I’m making choices for me. I will survive no matter what it takes but I’m making choices based on what is right for me.
I’m sick of the delicate balancing act my fucking life is… but I’ve made a choice now to be where I stand. After the next little while that part will be over and easier. And it makes my life a little simpler later on.
Mind games however? Not knowing where I stand with people? That’s entirely another animal. And I will walk the fuck away from those that I need to.
You know it says everything when a person that has always been first to come take advantage of what’s offered here free of charge no matter where I’m living has disappeared into the ether. No warning and no reasons. I’d think after all that freindship and having you in my home extended multiple times that I’d get the respect and some Fuckin answers about why you ghosted me.
But you know what, I have enough drama in my life, this is twice and now it’s cost me money. I’ll just move on. I’ve left plenty of people behind in my life. You’re certainly welcome to be another notch.
I am sick of the responsible one and putting all the hopes and dreams on hold for other people. When I’m at an age I should be slowing down I should not be sacrificing still for the smallest of petty reasons.
I’m sick of being strong and sacrificing for everyone else, when is the moment going to be about me?
I am losing patience and starting to fucking consider my options because running in a circle like a fucking hamster on a wheel isn’t something that is likely to continue forever. I didn’t sign up for this and I didn’t sign up to be constantly disrespected and taken advantage of constantly. I have better things to do.
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