its an illusion of me in your head that you have. it's just an ideal of the boy i once was, all damaged and shattered back then. he isn't the man i am now. you always seem to forget that those good pieces of me you carved away a decade ago. i am simply all that remains of that good idealistic man, theres a few pieces of my soul missing, the ones you took from me. you destroyed who i am, it doesn't matter if i still see myself as that person, Ill never be that person again. you took all that away. you destroyed all that was good and pure and you wonder why i embraced being the Villian?
thats all on you.
I'd rather be the bad guy in your life, because at least that way the perimeters of our relationship are fuckin defined. and I'm free to have my peace and enjoy my life. I'm not even close to the true villain in your life, you have worse ones in your head and that's not even the most affected part of our lives.
My nightmares don't compare to the reality and you and i both are aware of that fact. its why i fade away.
its your own actions you have chosen. and you've influenced mine, i have no regrets about everything i have ever done in your directions. id have spared us both the pain and our child as well but then we wouldn't have had our moments together. and for all the pain, hurt and bullshit I wouldn't have given them up for anything. because without the pain he wouldn't exist.
but neither he and I are your playthings or possessions, hopefully one day when he realizes that, hell realize what you took away.
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