We don't hate each other, we aren't enemies. we are simply something else. what that is I don't know, at this very moment i don't think i care because you're daily life doesn't affect me. just like mine doesn't affect yours. but this future planning we discuss shouldn't come after the end. I have always deserved better, and I know my value. thats why we weren't together then, thats why we aren't together now.
you are jealous that i survived and i have a good life and do cool and awesome things without you and him, but heres the thing... you should be at my side doing those things with me. that option is coming. i haven't decided to close the door on it yet... but i have decided to call your bluff on it sometime soon. thats where i am at. i am calling my shot. either we will have a moment in the next few months or we will not and you'll be left wanting and waiting again.
I told you on the telephone, its on my terms now... and there are terms and conditions to be met. we aren't there yet. we are just close. and maybe i want to surprise you and change things. maybe I dont. maybe i like the ambiguity of it all.
i want to give us a moment but I'm not sure you're ready. I'm not sure i want to be that vulnerable and give you my soul agian if its just another knife in the back. changing things means i have to trust you again. It doesn't matter if I love you.
thats the question about our future now. it is a foreign land. the only thing i know fir sure is that it cannot continue to be a status quo that neither of us enjoys.
we will see. you have twenty days. i'm going to have fun till then. I'm glad you took my son to that concert. i would have asked you that night. But every Night its always going to on my terms. the future isn't set yet, we haven't decided on the road we will chose yet. but we will soon.
There are reasons that i don't care, and reasons that i do.. the countdown to the dark ages has begun.
The Future is not Set. There is no fate but what we make.
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