Stranger In A Strange Land.

I am happy, I get to do epic shit like this with the ones I love on a regular basis, the fact that iron maiden is one of his favorites and I was able to do it as one last birthday gift makes me happy. I wish that I could do more with him but these special moments mean something to. The only thing missing is having my son beside us enjoying the show, but that is a choice that is not mine. He’d be welcome to come, every damn time. But I am not going to sit at Home weeping and waiting for the writing on the wall. Im going to live and enjoy myself. I sacrificed enough years not doing anything and standing still trying to do the right thing.

Now I am doing the right thing, and I’m having fun and enjoying my life with those that are surrounding me. I choose me and I have no fucking regrets choosing me. It’s about being at peace with myself and the ones I care for in this lifetime. One troublesome piece has been swept off the chess board. And trust me that shadow loomed large for a great many years, and I have other shadows that still dwell. But regardless of where I stand with some people in my life, I know that other shadow would be happy that I’m successful and doing things with my life and enjoying myself. I just wish her daughter and her grandson were at my side. Maybe tomorrow, maybe never. But at the end of the day, I’ve made peace will all of that.

Im going to have fun, I’m going to deal with all my responsibilities and im going to do it all with style and class. You can either follow behind, be by my side or be the fuck forgotten.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth. I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable. there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...

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