I keep being left for fucking dead abd written off but somehow I continue to survive and be a fucking thorn in your side, there must be a reason for that. You might want to try and find out your reasons for that. I survived long before you and there was a reason for that too. You were the happy accident that led to tragedy, me, the government, authority? I hold no illusions i know exactly where I stand and have since the 1980s. There is no free thought in this country, just an agenda.
Is it still paranoia when the paranoiac is absolutely right? I am hypervigilant, I always expect the fucking wolf at the door. My life doesnt improve, it just fucking evolves into yet another monster I have to deal with. Too bad I evolved into a monster to be able to push back agianst it as well. I know exactly who I am and what im capable of.
I know im angry. That's not something that will ever truly go the fuck away, but I have reasons for my anger. I always have and things just collapsed like a house of cards leaving me in further ruin along the way. But I dance amongst the ruins for a fucking reason, mostly because i don't fucking care. At the end it'll be about who I was not what I did or what people think of me. Im good with that.
We aren't at war. But we aren't anything else either. I'm good with that.
This tragic sad clown has other interests. I can be having fun in cosplay on one moment and be at a death metal concert in an hour throwing people around.this ks my life and its a good one. Am I sad things happened the way they did? Yes. But I have an epic life and i still had a great fucking day. No one gets to affect that. No one.
When i do get angry i have ways to release it and have fun. My life is a good one and there isn't much missing to it. Its just the cards we are given, I'm gonna enjoy my life and my place in it until things change, and if they don't I'm good with that part too. I'll keep trying but dont ever think I don't have other interests to keep me busy. Thats not the way I have ever operated, it's not about to change now. Ill keep going on my legendary adventures and not give a flying fuck about who isn't in my world. Even when deep down it hurts a little.
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