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Hold On To Me....


Things are starting to make a little more sense now. I am looking for peace but I also know what the last stop at the station leads to. I have no doubt of that. And I have no regrets about constantly extending the olive branch. It will always happen.  I see my future in your eyes. I always have. I still do. And he stands beside  you now.

We need to think about somewhere else. Im not sure long term what the solution is. I know that every root we have is poisoned or ruins. I want you safe and free from drama. I always have.

I will always be here. I will always be waiting. I want you to make a decision by the time im 50 but we have time still. I love you. Always.
I know where I stand in our last moments already. I just want the moments in between. Those are the important ones.  We have given so many up. There are precious few we could have back.

My life doesnt lead to you. You have to come to mind. We need to fix things or figure things out on our own terms. Not the world's.

The next step isn't written and there is no fate but what we make. Maybe somewhere else is the answer. We will find our way. I dont care how long it takes. I will always be here. I will always ne waiting.

Even if its an exercise in futility.

At the end of the day the only ones that should matter in our lives is you and I and our son. Its the only reason I stay here. I hate hamilton. I always have. I kept trying to leave. When I thought I was settling down with you those years it was the best part of my life and thats never changed. If I have to choose one, the choice is always you. Your ring is waiting.

I don't know the next step but I know the past and what has value in my past and you are a big part of who I am. Who i have always been.

I will always be here. Waiting...

At this point in my life I'm not waiting or asking for anyone to be part of my life... but there you are always coming back to it.

There has to be a reason.

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