Skip to main content

My World


So you've gotten a fucking taste of my world and you retreat into your good old self preservationist behaviors deluding yourself into a fantasy world that doesn't really exsist... explains why you are no longer on facebook and why I am your ultimate fear, because I've lived with the demons and the violence all my life, you can't even deal with it once. You're ideallic fairytale life is for you only and you don't realize how it is affecting our son, at least when he's with me he's protected from everything threats both pyshcical or otherwise.. if you were with him when you were attacked what would you do? I know... have the clone trooper get his ass kicked fighting his way out of a wet paper bag and this is the man you have around to raise our child with you? At least when he's with me he's learning not to be afgraid and to defend himself from people, I swore when i grew up i would never allow my child to be raised by a single mother, and or be an abusive father but of course you took the choice away from me with your lunatic fringe... and then you are having motherfucking crazies around my son, don't look to me for sympathy if anything ever happens to you or our son and i use to take him away from you permanently, other than Him in this point in my life you have nothing i want, you're a used up old ragdoll that plays mindgames and preys on other peoples emotions, i learned not to trust you a long time ago..... you've had to live in my world for a weekend, I've lived in it my entire fucking life and i never want to see my son exposed to it, and if I have my way he won't be.

Current Mood: Annoyed.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.