Skip to main content

Jennifer's Body


Today is not a good day for you're fucking horseshit, oh woe is me i'm still sick and i'm keeping our son home because 'm sick, but you can't have your court ordered visit until saturday because i can't get my fucking fat head out of my ass long enough to take care of myself, oh and when an alternative is given you need to fucking react like a goddamn bomb is going off... it's so much more important to make sure that my son goes to the christmas assemblys on the last day at school instead of spending some time with daddy, stop being such a fucking self centered cunt and get off your fucking high horse, this is not the shit i want to deal with today, there's enough going on for you to start pulling your fucking horseshit, of course that's just it, you thrive on my being miserable, there's no illusion there. you'd rather i'd be unhappy and dependant on you than ever make it on my own, because then i'll come crawling back, here's the fucking thing tho.... I won't. I'm fucking independent and i no longer give a shit about you, youre ten year's dead as far as I'm concerened, there's no fucking point going back to the nothing that Is your life, as miserable as i might be right now it's a misery of my own creation, and i fought to be here, you were just a distration along the way, and yeah, you probaly gave some assistance in the destruction of my carreer because i would have had my head on straighter if you weren't in the picture but you are and at least i have my buitiful bouncing baby boy as the one good thing between us, but otherwise, i should have left you in the fucking gutter, face down and drunk where i found you.. because you're so fucking selfish, but then agian that's understandable, you never had a day of adversity in your life because mommy and daddy made sure you were the spoiled little princess, you got everything that was coming to you... in four years when you're forty and lonely don't come crawling back, i'll be unaviliable and still won't give a damn, you are psychic, you are gonna die a spinster, but that's of your own making.... you can't ever give me the guilt trip anymore, i've always done right by you, but someone how doing the right thing and the good thing isn't enough... so wallow in what you've become. I won't be there for you.

Current Mood: Angry.
Love is basically like leaches .... They suck until they can’t get enough of you. Until you find a catapillar that will turn into the butterfly that you have wished for all of your life. Then they just spread their wings and fly away.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...