Skip to main content

Lucifer's Angel


how fucked up was i that i rescued watchmen from the quarter bin and identified with the most pyschopathic character? I am sitting around evaluating my life right now with the advent of a new fucking year and All i see is a long list of failures and things that I saw that have failed, what's the point of sitting on a graveyard shift and not making a diffrence with people, What's the point of being fucking alone and not giving a damn? If i can't be with the one shouldn't I choose the other? I'm haunted by a lot of things in my life but it shouldn't be such a fucking challenge to get ahead in my life and find happiness, I used to revel in my rebellion and my misery, I have to fucking have it my way and never comprimise because comprimising might mean being taken advantage of, or letting someone i care about being compromised and taken advantage of, but now I often wonder If i should have been more leniant and let things happen the way they were supposed to, I can't be an angry Vigilante agianst the system forever, I need to make some fucking positive changes and soon, or I need to leave the system, it's not enough that I grew up in it, it's going to take my life and soon, I need to derial that fucking train from happening. maybe it's a good thing that I have options, I wish I could recognize that fact instead of being completely oblvious to it and trying to massacre myself for a cause that's hollow in other peoples eyes. there's no reason to be a matryr if no one's listening.

Current Mood: Black.
I live my life free of compromise, and step into the shadows without complaint or regret.

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to-letting a person be what he really is. - J. Morrison

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more