Skip to main content

Lucifer's Angel


how fucked up was i that i rescued watchmen from the quarter bin and identified with the most pyschopathic character? I am sitting around evaluating my life right now with the advent of a new fucking year and All i see is a long list of failures and things that I saw that have failed, what's the point of sitting on a graveyard shift and not making a diffrence with people, What's the point of being fucking alone and not giving a damn? If i can't be with the one shouldn't I choose the other? I'm haunted by a lot of things in my life but it shouldn't be such a fucking challenge to get ahead in my life and find happiness, I used to revel in my rebellion and my misery, I have to fucking have it my way and never comprimise because comprimising might mean being taken advantage of, or letting someone i care about being compromised and taken advantage of, but now I often wonder If i should have been more leniant and let things happen the way they were supposed to, I can't be an angry Vigilante agianst the system forever, I need to make some fucking positive changes and soon, or I need to leave the system, it's not enough that I grew up in it, it's going to take my life and soon, I need to derial that fucking train from happening. maybe it's a good thing that I have options, I wish I could recognize that fact instead of being completely oblvious to it and trying to massacre myself for a cause that's hollow in other peoples eyes. there's no reason to be a matryr if no one's listening.

Current Mood: Black.
I live my life free of compromise, and step into the shadows without complaint or regret.

Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to-letting a person be what he really is. - J. Morrison

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more