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Career Suicide II

So we got to the bottom of why the big argument took place friday morning, apperently one of the clients asked for one of his justifibale rights in asking for a phone call to his worker or the children's advocate, which is completely in his right... of course i get the gist of the situitaion is that i am coaching him on doing so, which I have not done, but as usual when something is wrong a scapegoat is needed so i can take the blame, bringing the house up to industry standards or having a surprise review by the advocacy office or the ministry would close us down, i'm not the one in charge of keeping the place running, but if you need someone to blame just blame me, much easier.. no wonder i am still on fucking payroll... it's easier to just deal with the small problems than to deal with the gaping flaws, of course some in higher places might see it diffrently but seeing how i am enganged in survival employment at this current time i need to keep my mouth shut and tow the company line.... which brings up another sad fact... i work 36 hours over fucking christmas and boxing day, in what fucking world do i not get paid accuratly? Oh wait, i know, a world that places the almighty dollar over the safety and well being of children, i am merely a placeholder... nothing in my job description is to enrich these kids lifes, as long as they are warehoused without complaint and kept docile and keeps making the corrupted corperation money who am I to give a damn? this is not what i wanted in my career, i can't continue on like this, i can't go home and face myself in the mirror and start thinking about how much easier it would be without me at the job or in this world, thank god for my loved ones that are always willing to listen to me bitch... but if i am feeling this way how the fuck are the kids feeling? there are so many fucking problems wrong with this shit hole it would take a lifetime to list them all, i could always start with the empty coupboards and 2 or 3 days without bare esstianals like milk and bread, i don't know much, but i do know as a parent i keep basics like cereal and kraft dinner and juice in the house for whatever reason, when you are budgeting for a bachelor for a house of three kids plus staff, there is seriously something fucking wrong. you keep shoveleing these kids shit and they are going to react violently, start doing the same to staff and you are going to have people starting a revolution.... there is no goddamn reason to deny a kid a chance to speak with his worker or his lawyer or the children's advocate when requested unless you have something to hide, Unfourtunatly i have nothing to hide, I wonder why does my employer? wait, that's right... the answers are on the wall.... maybe if we followed the ploicies and procures but then agian that's just a document with no meaning as the counterpart to last weeks arguement about me being sick proved, I don't know how much longer i can stay at this job feeling powerless, not only for myself but for these kids as well, and monday morning, it's back to normal like nothing ever happened.

Current Mood: Frustrated, Hostile.
Current Music: Iron Maiden, Children of the Damned
Undermine their pompous authority, reject their moral standards, make anarchy and disorder your trademarks. Cause as much chaos and disruption as possible but don’t let them take you ALIVE.

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