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Use Once and Destroy.

It's really time to be fucking moving on from my current exsistance, when i am referring to my current shift as purgatory and I am very clearly being used by management on the holidays to effectively be a scapegoat, it's time to go.. my talents are being wasted here and I can see that the longer I stay the longer this slow state of career suicide will continue, nothing like having to deal with a major issue on new years AM and have it blow over for the weekend, on the telephone I get positive reinforcement for a job well done, but then when he get's in on monday morning it's the same old state of warm piss down my back re: the incident which I'm sure the dumb fucking retard hasn't even bothered to read the incident reports, It's painfully aware to me how much this so called non profit organization is trying to make a profit, Once agian a client had a fucking pocketknife after keeping Night staff going till 5 am the night before, and things are kept hush hush, let's not worry about dealing with the police here because if we do we will lose a source of revenue, newsflash fucktard it's about doing what's right for the kids and the community, not coddling them like they are five year olds... do I have to be stabbed overnight or have my fucking throat slit for you to recognize that fact? of course this is just to be expected with untrained management, the Money comes first, regardless of the needs of the child, we are using the house for a warehouse from a unrelated buisness that you couldn't keep together and you are wondering why I am thinking that it's not a question of If the house will fail, but when? another thing bothering me of the many things is the lack of food and amenties for the kids and the seeming recurring need for staff to pay for things themselves, you don't pay at all enough for us to be dropping 50-60 a day on these kids and it's a fucking challenge to be reimbursed anyways.... but i can't let these kids starve or go to school without bus tickets... of course, it's not like you give a damn, if food is stale dated you say feed it to the kids anyways, these children are not swine, I will not feed them out of date garbage, i don't care, it's not ethically responisble or healthy. agian this is about trying to save a fucking buck... But when there is nothing in the house and what is there is old.. it's fucking ridiclous.... we would never pass an insopection if a surprise one came about today, because there are basic needs not being covered, I am considering calling the ministry or the advocate myself based on these little fucking things that bother me.... only problem is that they are not so little............ And it's very clear to me that staff manipulation of other staff is happeneing because of the lack of routine and consequences towards the kids, we let the inmates run the asylum and then games get played by managament and some of the weaker members of the frontline team and problems that should be solved on their shifts are piggy backed onto other peoples shifts...I'd appreciate people not bothering to stab me in the back and talking shit to the kids, but so what else is new, it's common practice esp. when the one doing it is the program director of the house, but he can say whatever he wants, yell at the kids, play the kids agianst each other, agianst staff, staff aginast staff, whatever, like a fucking chess game... because at the end of the day he is responsible for my fucking paycheck, not too fucking much longer.

Current Mood: Frustrated.
People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance.

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