Everything Burns

Yeah, the fucking patience level for work is almost nil..... its the fucking seventh and the cheques are coming in at fucking 7 pm at night, what kind of ridiclous shit is this, it should be availible at the latest by the afterrnoon and not so people have to wait another fucking buisness day, of course then agian the buisness model at this mickey mouse organization doesnt care about there frontline workers, its about turning a profit and keeping everyones mouth shut in regard to the absenses of things and the lack of any strong contuinity of care, its better to just warehopuse these kids and babysit than actually do anything to improve their quality of life, they are only going to end up in prison or worse anyways, we shouldnt care, im glad i dont do this job for the money but i am getting to the point with this organization as my carreer burns that the money is becoming my only motivation, it would be very easy for me to turn both houses into anarchy by setting the kids off and calling the advocate but of course, id rather keep my job till something better comes along, but i can see the fact that the something better is coming soon.

Current Mood: Pissed Off
It's not about money... it's about sending a message. Everything burns!

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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