Skip to main content

Insane Asylum.

I need to convince myself why i am doing this job agian, after 8 months we are finally going to have a staff meeting and be on the same page, you mean we might actually clear up some lingering issues that management has caused, oh golly gee, wouldnt that be swell, of course on the other hand quoting from the bible about he cast the first stone or some shit and letting all the indivual staff have their own little fiefdoms is bullshit, and the whole idea that you even try and refernce the bible around an employee is unaccepatable, some of us dont share your beliefs and if you spew bible crap down my throat it will get dealt with at the labour board level, but its not even that, there are rules in place for these kids for a reason and spoiling them and letting them have their way when they have a temper tantrum makes me more of a gloryfied fucking babysitter than anything esle, it doesnt help when certian staff, who arent working MY overnight shift are undercutting me by saying oh i could have handled that situation better instead of how Nick was a hardass, theres a fucking reason Im a hardass ive been dealing with these kids for the last eight months, youve done what 2 weeks of shifts... i think i know these kids better than you... and ive been with the organization dealing with their other kids for almost 2 fucking years, i think i know my job, Im the fucking warden of the Insane Asylum.

Current Mood: Insane, just like everyone else.
Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away... forever.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...