Queen of the Reich III

Nothing like a last minute message to ruin my plans for the weekend, if the game playing is going to continue i am going to involve the fucking authorities and have police enforcement, its is interesting to note that your phone number is currently not working as well, you can't deprive my son of his father for over a month, this is just nonsense and game playing and it is a direct attack upon me to wait till friday fucking morning to let me know hes sick, you have a family gathering, the more i hear it the more it smacks of bullshit and the lack of commuincation makes me think you are trying to push me away agian, newsflash, I am going to start persuing the letter of the law in terms of my cort order so you will be seeing a lot fucking more of me... my son has a right to see his father, i dont apprecaite the games that you have been fucking playing and I have the feeling the revolving door is spinning agian and you have a new boyfreind and you are trying to push me away yet agian, i got a newsflash for you Cunt... i have been pushed away since the last day of 04, i dont know what i ever saw in you and why i ever thought i could possibly fucking be in love with you, i cannot belive the woman who bore my child treats me like this, and worse I cannot understand why you do this shit to your own son, he loves us both equally shouldn't that be enough? at least I know, I'm not going to be the one he grows up to hate.

Current Mood: Angry.
I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

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