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Self Destruction.

you know that i really do have self destructive tendencies and the fact that they have always given me goals and a sense that my life on this earth will end sooner than later and everything i wanted needed to be done because one day soon i was gonna be gone... of course it hasnt turned out that way, im just holding on in a steady pattern trying to become someone im not, lowered expectations i guess, when i cant see any point to the robotic lifestyle of work, then sleep, then work then death, i mean whats the fucking point, my greatest accomplishments in this life mean nothing because one ( the biggest accomplishment.) i hardly get to see do your machinations, two the second biggest accomplishments were my education yet i can make the same amount of fucking money pumping gas and saying would you like some fucking fries with that... i guess when you get to a point where nothing matters, nothing ends up actaully mattering, at middle age im looking forward to the end... because at least that will be interesting.

Current Mood: Bored.
Current Music: Avril, My Happy Ending.
Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer.... Maybe self-destruction is the answer.

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