Skip to main content

Ghosts Of War III

the patience level is NIL. I Have to get to a fucking point in my life where i start to break and kick down walls and change the world because no one is going to do it for me, I wish i could draw on the anger and resentment of the world that i had when was younger and the more i have to do without my child and the things i need Like A Job, for a normal fucking life the longer than anger and resentm,ent grows, How fucking sad is it that my life changed in one single night back in 2000, and the things that i did then for fun like busking I now have to do for fucking survival, even in university, i never had to busk to eat, I did it for fun, now i am doing it for my next fucking meal and a pack of cigarettes, I need to focus and clear my fucking name and make the Hell that has been created and get rid of it in my life, We are all reflective of our own choices, but i do Not deserve this, i shouldn't have to think everyday about my next move on the chess board because of how it will affect me financially or with the supports i currently have in place, There are things i could be doing like a job, but i am afraid to take them just in case it fucks up what is more important in my life,, I should not be fighting this battle, I should not be in this war, My battles should be long behind me, But as long as both of us still shall live, this will continue.

Current Mood: Angry.
The world only makes sense when you force it to.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more