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The Long Hard Road Out of Hell

This is not the way things are supposed to be, I should be enjoying this weather on this glorious week of my sons march break and just hanging out with him, there is no reason for the Hell i am currently experiencing to have gone on as long as it has, Obviously someone knew exactly how to strip from me everything that I am, You have destroyed my soul and destroyed my heart.. as whatever fire I had in my soul towards anything is melting away and is replaced by a cold darkness I can see that maybe one day in the future i will decide to make changes in my life and the chess pieces will fall and melt away, I am the servant of my own destruction but I will not leave this world before I make sure that Everything in this world that I can do, I have done. I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself when I know that it not I that has caused this pain, and i Will not bow to the whims of a world that simply does not control me, I am my destiny, You can only affect it for a little while, and then you will be exposed.. and things will return to normal.. whatever the fuck that is.... the hell you can provide for me is one that will one day come to haunt you more than it haunts me... I have long ago made peace and a place at the table for my demons, the longer you hide from yours and make me the fucking scapegoat the longer you will damage yourself, of course, it's already too late, because the day you find yourself wanting something from me i will have found you useless and wanting... and not worthy of consideration.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.

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