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I am losing fucking patience with the situation and everything around me... I do not like dealing with no shows and slum lords in Hamilton and am seriously considering saying fuck it and just throwing everything in storage for a month or so and disapeering away somewhere else..The Hamilton Experiment is for all intents and purposes over... there is no fucking reason i should have ever moved here.. it's realistically been a clusterfuck since day one and the only real thing of substance I had while i was hear was violently stripped away from me along with a lot more of exactly what defines me... I am losing patience with the situation and I am losing patience with people.. I don't like a feeling of being used and then forced out... I really don't like the fact that I'm backed into a corner again.. I am already locked into enough corner's.. you know what happens when a wild dog is leashed or trapped? he lashes out.. and I'm getting to a fucking boiling point... all I want is the security i have had for the last three years again.. i'm sick of starving and not knowing where my next place i'm gonna sleep will be much less my next meal... I'm just so sick of everything.. I deserve better.. I do not deserve this life.. and If it hadn't been for someone else.. I would have more options than I currently do...

Current Mood: Angry.
Some people would tell you that I'm crazy. They would be wrong. It's not crazy when the state of the world makes you want to kill everyone responsible. It's crazy when it doesn't.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

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