Skip to main content

End Game.

For this I was chosen because I fear nothing
With confidence I tread through the dead of night
Off to another war torn faraway battlefield
Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

On this day I decide to anoint my fist
Engaging them in the mode of power and war
Stopping at nothing that's short of fulfilling my destiny
Willing to die and I will, after you for what I believe


I am getting better and more eloquent with dealing with what needs to be dealt with, for once i am no longer mincing words and I am letting everyone know that I am in the driver's seat and it's time to reclaim my life... for almost three years of this hell and by extension 10 years of struggle on and off fighting this battle in hell it's time for things to change, having backup today and moving the chess peices forward is the diffrence between this afternoon and everyone that came before. it's time to fight this battle... another step towards the eventual end game.. there is only so long this can permuate and continue, and when the castles are crumbling around you it's time for you to feel the things i have felt and battled for and aginast for the last 3 years... the choice was never mine to battle, but i will never fall upon my sword either, even if the the blade has impaled my heart and removeing it will destroy what is left of my blackest heart... there are things and someone that matter's beyond my and your own pain. you would do well to remeber that, this is a game of chess, something I taught you how to play, and the the glass pawns are breaking down and crumbling into dust... all set in motion by both of us... I just chose to play a game to stale mate.. and Now i have and them in check mate... it's just about counting the moves I have left until I get there. Ace's and Eight's this game is almost done.

Everything That Has A Beginning Has An End.

Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: Megadeth, This Day We Fight

He knew that all the hazards and perils were now drawing together to a point: the next day would be a day of doom, the day of final effort or disaster, the last gasp

We are made by the choices we make. We are defined, not by how or where we were born but what we make out of the "where" and "how"; not much of how we started but more of how we decide to end.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...