I'm sick of feeling this nothing in my life, I know that i am a nihilist I am proud of that fact, but the fact i get up every morning looking at this great big pile of nothing that is my fucking life... it's not about who I was or even about who I am, i need to find reasons to keep going everyday and recently i have been fucking falling short more often than fucking not and that's frustrating. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but i feel that i constantly have to be on the attack and that is hard to do when the truck is running on fucking fumes because i'm fucking broke, it's even more annoying when I am making other's fucking money and they don't see the assistance i am giving them or the fact that i am constantly in debt and sometimes because of them, it's very frustrating when the world i play in is the only world i am given to deal with at the moment. i want to go back to fucking normality and have a job, preferbly my job but at this point any fucking job will do and have the things that I once had, the fucking things she took away from me.. happiness, my child, a stable fucking income.... I hate and I will continue to hate.. and it is well deserved and will never be an act that will or can be fucking forgiven. whatever i am now, whoever I am now.. i know exactly who Made me this way and It was never my choice. for every second of hell i have endured these last three years i hope you get it back one hundredfold. there will be a time and place for judgement and you will be found out and you will burn....
Current Mood: Depressed, Angry, Hungry.
They must be punished. All of them. All of those who dare to live and love and dare to be happy when he can never know these things. He must be patient. He has had to wait before. Time is meaningless to one such as he. And after all... he has his hate to keep him warm.
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