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Empire's End V

Courage is about learning how to function despite the fear, to put aside your instincts to run or give in completely to the anger born from fear. Courage is about using your brain and your heart when every cell of your body is screaming at your to fight or flee - and then following through on what you believe is the right thing to do.

I am having a hard time, it's not the walking away so much from the whole nonsense last year of the toy bullshit, but more the fact that nothing in my life has replaced it, I quit and was supposed to find a job and find some normalcy but instead I'm just waiting, as I watch all these cool things dwindle away, I don't know where the next step of my life is going, but I did have something for a few years that I built up and now it's gone, I haven't really missed it until recently and now I haven't decided if I made a mistake quitting before the battle was won and/or everything was gone... These things don't matter to me, there are more important things in my life, I just fucking wonder why I feel so hollow and broken, why I wax nostalgic for This shit? I hated it, why do I even think about looking back? It was a means to an end, something to help me survive, but the truth is I know exactly why I look upon it, I did it alone, without my son, and that fact alone will always fucking haunt me. It sucks. That's why I look back, because I could do this cool thing with him from any number of possible angles, but I am currently being denied that. That has to change.

Current Mood: Sad, Depressed, Nostalgic.
Current Music: Misfits, Dig Up Her Bones.

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.

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