Where something even deeper than the marrow knows that the cost of avoiding what one fears is even greater than the actual object of that fear and so the fear itself is even more corrosive even more destructive than all the frightening potential of the thing that arouses it.
It's fucking ironic that at the end I am still making deals with the devil for the greater good, that was the problem in the first place, nothing ever fucking changes, that being said, if it comes down to it I offer my black soul, it's not important... If it comes to him, I'll sign in blood, my own, never his, but this is a vicious circle, one she's placed me in, for over a decade.... But if I deal with the devil for my soul, he can have it, but only on my terms, always on my terms, I don't like being placed in a corner, when I do I find a way out, but when my options are fucking limited I find a fucking way to start swinging out of that corner, I might be a demon but I'm a noble demon and I will endure the fires of hell if it fucking comes to that, it holds no illusions for me anymore, then just like now, if I have to sacrifice everything I am, everything I believe in, I'll do it, without blinking, when I'm out of options and my back agianst the wall, I'll always find one more, no matter the personal cost, if I'm gonna burn so be it, but I'm fucking taking you with me, let's burn together, forever... Eternity awaits bitch. I don't mind the fires of hell, it holds no illusions for me after the hell I have endured at your hand, it's time for this to end, it's not my soul on the line, not is it yours, they are not important, our child's heart and soul is however, and that's what this battle is about, it's why I've made my deals with the devil, it's why I've never backed down no matter the fucking cost, it's always been about him, and when I'm faced with a sadistic choice, my needs are always going to be less important than his, it's been that way for 13 years, his lifetime, I'm not about to change now, no matter what I have to endure.
I'm not exactly trusting anyone or anything as it comes to the system right now, and honestly the family court system has let me down and honestly there is an agenda at play and I'm not sure exactly who in the long run it benefits, I just need to be ready for war, and I am. I am firmly in control and anything I disagree with at this point my voice will be heard loudly. I'm Not backing down from Anyone or anything at this point, this is the end Game, this Hell I have endured for the last 5+ years is to be at an end, and barring that a resolution, But it's time for it To End.
Current Mood: Determined
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown
Do we really want to be rid of our resentments, our anger, our fear? Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing or hatred because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain. It seems safer to embrace what we know than to let go of it for fear of the unknown.
It's fucking ironic that at the end I am still making deals with the devil for the greater good, that was the problem in the first place, nothing ever fucking changes, that being said, if it comes down to it I offer my black soul, it's not important... If it comes to him, I'll sign in blood, my own, never his, but this is a vicious circle, one she's placed me in, for over a decade.... But if I deal with the devil for my soul, he can have it, but only on my terms, always on my terms, I don't like being placed in a corner, when I do I find a way out, but when my options are fucking limited I find a fucking way to start swinging out of that corner, I might be a demon but I'm a noble demon and I will endure the fires of hell if it fucking comes to that, it holds no illusions for me anymore, then just like now, if I have to sacrifice everything I am, everything I believe in, I'll do it, without blinking, when I'm out of options and my back agianst the wall, I'll always find one more, no matter the personal cost, if I'm gonna burn so be it, but I'm fucking taking you with me, let's burn together, forever... Eternity awaits bitch. I don't mind the fires of hell, it holds no illusions for me after the hell I have endured at your hand, it's time for this to end, it's not my soul on the line, not is it yours, they are not important, our child's heart and soul is however, and that's what this battle is about, it's why I've made my deals with the devil, it's why I've never backed down no matter the fucking cost, it's always been about him, and when I'm faced with a sadistic choice, my needs are always going to be less important than his, it's been that way for 13 years, his lifetime, I'm not about to change now, no matter what I have to endure.
I'm not exactly trusting anyone or anything as it comes to the system right now, and honestly the family court system has let me down and honestly there is an agenda at play and I'm not sure exactly who in the long run it benefits, I just need to be ready for war, and I am. I am firmly in control and anything I disagree with at this point my voice will be heard loudly. I'm Not backing down from Anyone or anything at this point, this is the end Game, this Hell I have endured for the last 5+ years is to be at an end, and barring that a resolution, But it's time for it To End.
Current Mood: Determined
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown
Do we really want to be rid of our resentments, our anger, our fear? Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing or hatred because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain. It seems safer to embrace what we know than to let go of it for fear of the unknown.
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